Doin' 12 oz Curls - I Ain't Lazy

Have you ever had a time in your life when you truly believe that God and Lucifer are haggling over your soul like they did Job?
The Zoloft is now back on my bathroom counter. And it has had plenty of time to kick in – Thank God for that small mercy – and I’m having the worst run of luck.
Saturday, I had my bald tire replaced, leaving me with 4 tires that were under 18 months old.
Sunday, I weigh. I’ve lost 3 more pounds!!!!
Monday, I go to my first 3-month appointment. What I thought was an STD and was content to live without sex the rest of my life to avoid again, turns out wasn’t really an STD. I am carrying an active HPV virus, which we are all born with, and it can turn cancerous again, yes I said again, without cause. So, with or without sex, I can get cervical cancer. Ok, I’m digesting this. How do I feel about that type of risk? The only thing I can do to keep it away is go to the Doctor an awful lot. As she said today, we are going to get to know one another very well.
Then on my way home from work, I had a blowout! One of the tires that is relatively new, is now shreds. So, I limp to Walmart at 71st & Memorial. Wait at the waiting area for some ten minutes and am completely ignored. I finally found someone, by walking into the mechanics area without permission, and asked if they are still taking customers. The answer was a simple “No”. I began calling my sister and brother-in-law and got answering machines. I called my mom and dad. Why? They live in McAlester, what good could they do? Well, they are MOMMA and DADDY and that means they have magical powers, right?
Turns out I handled the situation correctly enough that God gave me a break. I found a man that turned out to be the boss, asked him if I could leave my car and walk back in the morning and be there when they opened. He looked at me, for the first time actually acknowledging my existence, and said, I’ll get a ticket written up and we’ll do it tonight.
This is where the Heavenly Angels began singing Alleluias…
So, I waited another eternity, and the salesman, Jim, who knows me very well, because this is the second tire in that number of days that he has sold me, starts a ticket. I told him I would just leave the car and be back in the morning. After all, I do live walking distance from this particular Walmart.
Again, a Chorus of Angels begin singing, this time is was more like “…so when the world starts spinnin and your head hurts… there’s cheap bourbon whiskey and pearl snap shirts…” Yes, there is room for real country in Heaven.
Jim, the sales guy insists that I let him and his girl friend give me a ride home. I guess he could hear Boland also and knew that I had gone to my “Happy Place.”
I walked home. I know, it was Tulsa, and it was after dark, and I was wearing heals. But I cut thru the mall and stayed where store security cameras would catch me no matter where I was.
So now, I’m home. My sister and brother-in-law have been notified that I’m alive and well so far. My car is spending the night at Walmart. That will teach it to misbehave. And my rum and diet coke is almost gone. So, I’ll say good night for now and let you know how the morning turns out.